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Mild to Moderate Medical Conditions for the End Times May. 03, 2025
In my free time, I've been exclusively watching medical shows and making doctor's appointments. No, ... Read More
Time To Lose the Retirement Blues May. 01, 2025
I have an idea — instead of waking up every morning feeling fraught and frustrated with your j... Read More
Get Ready for a Hot Norovirus Summer Apr. 26, 2025
Hey, you look a little listless, wan from the drudgeries of dry land. With temperatures heating up a... Read More
Plagues of Our Fathers Apr. 25, 2025
When news stories about bedbugs started showing up a few years back, I wrote that bedbugs were out o... Read More
An Open Letter to Mayors and City Council Members Everywhere Apr. 25, 2025
Dear Most High: Say you're moving around your city — not necessarily doing exalted mayor or se... Read More
Whatcha Say -- It's 'Make No Complaints May' Apr. 24, 2025
Congratulations! You made it through "Dry January." It was a struggle, but you did it. Then came "Fr... Read More
Transcript of a Call to an Internet Service Provider Apr. 19, 2025
The following is a transcript of a phone call you made last month to your internet service provider ... Read More
English and I -- or Maybe Me Apr. 18, 2025
I have no facility with languages. I'm incoherent in Latin, French, Spanish and, far too often, in E... Read More
The Stress Mess Apr. 17, 2025
Feeling stressed at work? I don't blame you. The economy is looking rocky. The entire concept of jo... Read More
How to Meditate -- for the Chronically Anxious Apr. 12, 2025
Mindfulness meditation: It's all the rage. If you've been anywhere, talked to anyone or visited any ... Read More
I Am Your New Dishwasher and I Will Destroy You Apr. 12, 2025
Hi, and welcome to your new dishwasher! We hope you enjoy the experience of not quite getting your d... Read More
Dump the Slump Apr. 10, 2025
It happens every workday morning. You wake up full of energy and optimism. You leap out of bed and r... Read More
Best and Worst Recession Indicators Apr. 05, 2025
How did you spend Liberation Day? I celebrated President Donald Trump announcing confounding recipro... Read More
The Signalgate Text Thread Continues Mar. 29, 2025
SMALL GROUP RE: TEXT THREAD CONCERNING STRIKE ON HOUTHI REBELS IN YEMEN Waltz: Hi, team. Creating a... Read More
Kids, Pull Yourselves Up by the Bootstraps! Mar. 29, 2025
Eyes up, children. It's 2025, and you can say goodbye to Takis and Mountain Dew Code Red by the pool... Read More
You Have a Job, But Do You Have a Chair? Mar. 27, 2025
CEOs are pounding their desktops. "Back to the office!" they cry. "Back to the office, say I!" You ... Read More
How I Drove Meghan Markle and Prince Harry out of Montecito Mar. 25, 2025
Recently, I did something despicable. Apparently. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were reportedly mov... Read More
Go Home -- We're Drunk Mar. 21, 2025
An attorney I used to know told me how he figured out when to go home. "When I can't pronounce 'judi... Read More
Can Your Outie Rescue Your Innie? Mar. 20, 2025
Are you an "outie" or an "innie"? If that's a question you can't answer, you're not watching "Severa... Read More
Feeling World-Weary? Sink Into Nature for a Reset Mar. 15, 2025
Last weekend, I ventured on a wee break to the Rainbow River in Dunnellon, Florida, with friends. Yo... Read More
