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As Your Dead Relative, I Don't Want Amazon's Alexa to Mimic Me Jun. 25, 2022
Dearest loved one, It has come to my attention that Amazon announced it is working on new technology... Read More
Paper Towel Math Jun. 21, 2022
"Hey there," I called to a supermarket employee who had just appeared in the paper goods aisle. "Can... Read More
Paint And Suffering Jun. 21, 2022
I'm doing some work on my landlady's house. She just CANNOT figure out what color to paint it. Now,... Read More
Real or Fake? Listings for Half-Million Dollar Homes Jun. 18, 2022
As the country's distended housing market evolves like a deranged Pokemon, you may have been tempted... Read More
Oh, Ben Turpin, Where Art Thou? Jun. 14, 2022
As summertime approaches and we all get out for some (long overdue) fun in the sun, it's time to get... Read More
Ambivalence Actually Jun. 14, 2022
My boyfriend of two years read my diary and found out that I had expressed feelings for another guy... Read More
How to Be Better at Reading in a World Full of Distractions Jun. 04, 2022
Mental escapism has never felt more necessary than in these unrelenting, punishing news days. It's e... Read More
The Shoo Maker May. 31, 2022
I'm a single dude in my 30s, and I really want a girlfriend, but I keep striking out with women. My... Read More
Have We Got a Home for You! May. 26, 2022
Now that rents are ostensibly 25% higher than just a year ago, some home-hunters are complaining it'... Read More
Waif Watchers May. 24, 2022
I'm a 33-year-old woman, and I've always been thin. I lost about 12 pounds after a tough breakup. I... Read More
Writer's Block Tried to Ruin Me May. 21, 2022
Acute panic accompanies a blank page, so I almost never use one. It's a mental trick. You see, I wri... Read More
Endship Ring May. 17, 2022
I was roommates with a girl five years ago. I was a spoiled brat for many years, but I've worked ve... Read More
I'm Sorry, but the Supermassive Black Hole Has Demotivated Me May. 14, 2022
Look, it is impossible to get motivated about anything when there's new confirmed evidence of a supe... Read More
Your Phone Is Not Your Friend. Neither Is Your Brain. May. 12, 2022
Despite what everyone thinks, you were born with a wonderful brain. Chock-full of neurons, dendrites... Read More
Putting The Removes On Someone May. 10, 2022
I recently had my addiction recovery memoir published. I'm very honest and vulnerable in it, and re... Read More
Let's Learn to Laugh and Regain our Sense of Humor Apr. 28, 2022
Next weekend is Mother's Day, which of course reminds me of my mother, Jackie Battley Gingrich, who ... Read More
Invasion of the Suburbs Snatchers Apr. 26, 2022
Scene: In the dark of night, a tiny object plummets invisibly to the earth. Glowing with the searin... Read More
A Brief History Of Tame Apr. 26, 2022
I'm a 45-year-old single guy seeking a long-term relationship. My problem is that when I'm interact... Read More
My Detailed Plan to Buy Twitter Out from Under Elon Musk Apr. 23, 2022
You may have heard Elon Musk is trying to buy Twitter for $46.5 billion, the way Veruca Salt demande... Read More
Starting to Plan a Vacation? Stop! Apr. 21, 2022
This is so "you." Instead of using every second of your allotted vacation time, you plan to take th... Read More
